What is your Body Language Telling Others?
Often our focus with body language is on those around us and the messages they are giving out, but what about your own body language? Is your body communicating the right messages? Or is it communicating what you are really feeling? There are times when showing our true feelings is most important; however there are times when we want to convey something different. It may be we want to show confidence, when we are scared witless; or we want to come across as engaged when we would rather be anywhere else. Having the right words is only a very small part of the battle.
What is Body Language?
Communication is made up of three separate components, verbal communication, voice tone and body language. Body language is also known as non-verbal communication or kinesics. Body language is defined as communication that can be seen rather than heard. It includes gestures, facial expressions, eye movements, posture and personal space.
Why is it Important?
We (often subconsciously) use body language to understand whether what someone is saying matches with what they are feeling. Therefore, it guides the way people respond to you. If you aren’t paying attention to the non-verbal cues you are showing, you may have difficulties sustaining good relationships. You may come across as insensitive, lacking empathy or uninterested.
When we consider our own body language, we need to look at the same aspects we do when reading someone else’s body language. We also need to consider how these aspects all work together to build an overall picture.
How to Pay Attention to What Your Body is Saying
The first step is to understand that body language exists. By being aware that our bodies are conveying messages, you can begin to pay attention to what these messages are. You can learn more about this in Welcome to the World of Body Language.
Take a moment and consider your body right now. How would another person perceive you? Are you obviously engaged in reading an interesting article or are you bored and flicking through multiple articles? Is your posture upright? Are you leaning towards the screen? Or are you slumped and keeping one eye on the TV?
Check-ins
Practice doing these check-ins, even set a reminder for different times over the next day or so. Each time you think about body language, think about your current situation. What are you feeling? What do you want others to think you are feeling? For example, if you are at work and you want your boss to think you are diligently working while you are surfing the net, is your body portraying hard work or relaxation?
Another great way to learn more about your own body language is to watch those around you. The more you start to pick up on their body language signs the more you will notice if you do similar things.
When Does Body Language Have the Biggest Impact?
First Impressions
´You never get a second chance to make a first impression´. Possibly said by Will Rogers or Oscar Wilde, but it’s disputed.
When you first meet someone, they make judgments about you based on what they know of you. And seeing as at this point it possibly isn’t much, they will be filling the gaps using what they can see, how you present yourself. Their impression will be impacted by what you are wearing, the environment you are in, how clean you are etc, but it will be strongly impacted by your body language.
First impressions are formed in the first few moments of meeting someone. When looking at you they will subconsciously be considering your posture, your stance, your eye movements, your facial expressions. Before engaging with you, a person will have made some decision about you based almost solely on the body language cues you are displaying. You need to ensure that what they use to make their judgments is what you want them to see.
Online profile
Your online profile is often the digital version of a first impression. Whether your profile is just a photograph or a several minutes long video, people will be considering your body language. Do you want people to think you are relaxed and fun? Then make sure your photo or video really portrays this. It’s no point trying to come across as upbeat with your shoulders hunched and your legs tightly tangled. Do you want to come across as genuine? Then make sure you don’t fall for any of these traps!
For some great tips on improving your online profile check out our boosting engagement courses.
Entrepreneurs and sales
No matter what form your entrepreneurship takes, usually the ultimate end goal is to build and audience and make sales. No matter which of these you are attempting to achieve, you need to build your audiences’ trust in you. The more they feel they know, like and trust you the greater their engagement will be. Learn more about building a personal connection here.
There is no point putting in hours trying to convince someone that you have the perfect product for them (even if you do!), if they don’t feel they can trust you. If you are displaying signs that you aren’t genuine then you will find it difficult to sell even the best product in the world.
Attraction
Once you’ve made it past the first impression (whether this was in a digital form or not 😊), body language continues to play a big part when it comers to attraction. You need to ensure that your body language cues are letting the other person know that you are interested, without appearing fake or over the top. Look out for our guide on attraction coming soon!
How to improve your body language
The Udemy course The Ultimate Guide to Body Language in Everyday Situations has some great tips and tricks you can use on improving your own body language as well as reading others’. Otherwise have a look at the blogs What is the Smile Saying or What are the Feet Saying to get some ideas about where to focus.
Practice
Once you have identified a few areas and what cues to look for, then start practising. It is often best to start in front of the mirror. Try a variety of smiles to see which ones look real. Adjust your posture in the mirror. Try different hand and feet placement. Think about how the movements feel when you do them and remember this for when you are with others.
Next try them out with strangers. If you won’t ever see the person again then it doesn’t matter if you come across as a little unusual. Once you start to feel comfortable with this, try it with people you know.
Mindset
If you find that people are relating to you better then it is likely your body language is improving. If nothing changes or it gets worse, then go back to the mirror again. Think about what occurred during the interaction. You need to be in the same mindset you were at that moment the interaction occurred to see real body language. Look further this time. Is it just your smile that is the issue or are you crossing your arms defensively at the same time?
Finally...
Remember that your body language influences every interaction that you have with another person, whether that be face to face in real life or virtually. Makes sure that you take the time to learn about what different cues mean and review your own body language to ensure you are giving out the best possible messages.
Want to learn the exact steps to implement these techniques to become the confident person you deserve to be? Learn more about our Boost Confidence and Break Barriers with Body Language course!