How do you tell if a person is not being genuine? It really depends on who the person is. If you know the person then you may notice that they are acting slightly different to normal. They may be avoiding eye contact, positioning their body away from you or they may be hiding their hands or feet. If you know these aren’t normal behaviours, then this may be enough for you to realise that something is wrong.
An important thing to remember when considering body language is that it only tells us something is wrong, not what the issue is. For example, if your friend is showing these signs, it may mean they aren’t being genuine or it may be that they have just realised they have forgotten to do a very important task and it is this thought causing the behaviour, not you.
Some of the difficulties with telling if a stranger is being genuine is that you don’t know what their normal behaviours are, but also if they are practiced at being deceitful, e.g. a con-artist, then they know the following signals and make an effort not to display them.
The following are some generic cues that suggest a person is not being genuine. While many of these can suggest inner turmoil or other feelings of uncomfortableness that are not related to deceit, the more of these signals you see, the more likely the person is not being genuine.
1. Avoiding eye contact or looking too intensely
In Western cultures, people usually look at the person they are communicating with for approximately 3 seconds at a time. People tend to look directly at the other person 40-60% of the time when speaking. When listening this increases to approximately 75% of the time.
If you find the person is looking at you for extended periods of time (enough to make you feel uncomfortable) or seems to be avoiding looking at you then this can signal there are underlying issues. Remember that many other cultures have different social etiquettes when it comes to eye contact. Check out my Do We All Speak the Same (Body) Language blog for further info.
2. Covering their mouth or eyes
Covering the mouth suggests the person doesn’t want to say what they are saying. They either don’t believe it or they feel uncomfortable with it for some reason. The covering may be as simple as a finger placed over the lips or may be as obvious as a full hand covering.
Covering the eyes is a sign a person is uncomfortable with what they are seeing. Again, this may be a slight gesture, disguised as an eye rub or may be a full eye-covering. It is worth noting that men tend to rub their eyes vigorously, whereas women are more likely to gently touch below their eyes.
3. Touching the nose
While it is often suggested that this gesture is a false sign of deception, there is science behind why it happens. When someone feels that what they are saying is untrue, the brain releases chemicals known as catecholamines which cause the nasal passages to swell. This is known as the Pinocchio Response. The swelling causes a tingling sensation which can feel like an itch, leading to the need to touch or rub the nose.
A famous example of this was during President Bill Clinton’s grand jury testimony, he touched his nose 26 times when answering probing questions. When asked questions that were easy to answer his hands stayed away from his face.
4. Leaking facial expressions
Look for facial expressions that don’t match with what the person is attempting to portray. This can be a smile twitch at the edge of the mouth when something is not funny or a smile that is in the correct place, but comes across as fake, e.g. doesn’t reach the eyes.
Have a look at this video of President Clinton’s denial. I’m pretty sure there is a suppressed grin at the very end, which definitely wouldn’t be appropriate at this point. This video is also a great display of strange speech patterns discussed below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBe_guezGGc
5. Hand movements
A person who hides their hands may signal that they are being non-genuine. This can include tucking them in to their armpits, putting them in their pockets, or sitting on them. Even holding them in a tight clasp is a sign they may want to hide their hands.
If the person is not hiding their hands, you may notice that men tend to move their hands less than would normally be expected if they were being genuine, whereas women tend to move them more.
6. Stance
A person’s stance can tell you a lot about how they are feeling. As the feet and legs are the furthest from the brain, these are the hardest areas of the body to control when it comes to body language. The two stances that can suggest a person is not being genuine are the buttress stance and the scissor stance. For further details about stance and meanings check out The Ultimate Guide to Body Language in Everyday Situations Course.
If a person is positioned in a way that suggests they wish to move away from you, this can also show they are feeling uncomfortable. Feet pointing away or the buttress stance are a good indication of this. Flapping a foot, jabbing a toe, or repetitive foot jiggling alone or in combination with squeezed or shifting legs can reveal conflict.
7. Speech Patterns
Those who are being non-genuine may speak slower than normal, say less, make more errors, take longer pauses and hesitate more. This may be because they’re attempting to construct their story as they go, rather than remembering facts.
People who are telling falsehoods may also tend to have higher tone than usual and may end their sentences with a lift (almost as though asking a question). However, as mentioned before, this may be difficult to pick up if you cannot compare it to their normal speech patterns from easier conversations.
8. Uncomfortable movements
A person who feels they are under pressure is likely to have an increase in blood pressure. This can cause their neck to tingle and you may see movements such as rubbing the neck or pulling their collar away as though they are getting “hot under the collar”.
Pacifying behaviours are another signal of feeling uncomfortable and are designed to self-soothe. This can include the person rubbing their arm or leg, placing a finger or pen in their mouth or giving themselves a hug. The scissor stance picture above is a good example of a self-soothing hug.
9. Pro Tip.
If you see a person showing the OK signal when giving advice or information, check whether the thumb and finger touch. If not, it’s a sign they are unsure of what they are saying.
Finally
And finally remember to consider the whole body. The more of these signs you see, the more likely you are correct in your assumption that the person is not being genuine. If you’re not sure, try asking them some questions about something non-controversial and see if their body language changes.
For more great body language tips check out our other blogs!